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Financial Infidelity: What is it? How Do I Recognize It? What do I do about it? by Patricia Davis

What is it?  Financial infidelity occurs when one spouse or relationship partner hides assets or debts or commits other acts in secret that are detrimental to the couple's joint finances.

Financial infidelity isn't uncommon. One in three adults who said they'd comingled their finances also said they'd either committed or experienced an act of financial deceit, according to a recent survey by the National Endowment for Financial Education, or NEFE, a Denver-based nonprofit.


If your partner has bank statements, credit card bills or other important financial information sent to his or her office instead of your home or if your partner's executive assistant or secretary handles your joint financial matters, deception could be at work.

If you suspect your significant other has been financially unfaithful, here are some signs to look for:

  • You're cut off from a joint credit card.

  • You see no activity by your partner on a card you've normally both used.

  • You receive statements in the mail from a financial company you've never heard of.

  • Your partner has lots of new possessions and experiences.

  • Cash goes missing or is unaccounted for.

  • Your partner is paranoid about getting the mail.

  • Your partner becomes overly financially generous toward you and you don’t know how or why.

Rather than go on the attack, discuss the problem honestly and openly and try to work together on a solution.  If you cannot come to a resolution by yourselves, then seek counseling.

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